I don't do Facebook. As you can see from this post, two years ago I couldn't articulate why. I've thought about it a lot since then, and I don't like Facebook because I believe it gives people an easy mechanism to act inappropriately. Specifically, abusing a relationship by having an inappropriate online relationship with someone else. Having been stung by this in the past, I'm a bit sensitive about it. But the internet in general gives people that ability, not Facebook specifically. So it's not a very good argument.
It's gotten so that I'm almost proud of the fact that I don't have a Facebook account...that I've barely even seen what it looks like. Which is ridiculous because what is there to be proud of? There are things I should be proud of in my life and being anti-Facebook is NOT one of them.
So...and I say this with great hesitation...I'm considering it. I've had two kicks in the pants over the past 24 hours that have got me into this state. First, my dear friend K is torturing me by telling me she's been posting every day on Facebook recently (I probably don't even have the lingo right...do you "post" on Facebook?). Then there's my dear friend B who tells me a tear-jerker story about how she reconnected with an old neighbour through Facebook -- someone who was very near and dear to her heart.
With that in mind, I have a plan. If I can get ten comments on this post each telling me a story about how Facebook has affected you positively, I'll at least take a good look over someone's shoulder and see what I'm missing. I'm not committing to anything, I'm just saying I'll seriously consider it. And I'm not talking about reconnecting with some long-lost third cousin, exchanging three messages with them and promptly forgetting about them again. I want some solid stuff here.
And you can post more than one comment. Because I know at least one of you has two stories to share.
Comments
Two sides to every coin
Despite the lovely sentiments of the comments posted here, I'm somewhat reluctant to encourage people to join Facebook. There are some things I love about it, as well as some things that make me mental.
On the negative side: requests to play games, "presents" sent that require me to download yet another Facebook app, requests to join this or that other page of which I have no interest, guilt-inducing pleas for support of a favourite charity. Blech. And since for some reason I feel reluctant to actually "deny" a request (psychologists' field day, I'm sure), they languish in my box until I'm sure the sender has forgotten about it and I can quietly hit "ignore."
But that being said, I have connected with several people who I would never have crossed paths with again in my life, I am certain. A best friend from Kindergarten, a business partner who often popped up in my thoughts but I had no way of contacting, a person I used to babysit and now can see how they progressed in their life.
And sometimes a friend will simply post "I miss you" or "Have a great day" on my wall out of the blue and it honestly brings a huge smile to my face and brightens my morning.
As I'm accumulating friends from around the world, it is fun to see their pictures and know that I don't need to lose touch with them just because they are in a different country. (Not that you couldn't do this with email, but it is just an easy reminder to connect when you see their most recent Facebook update. Just hit reply...)
I'd say it is worth giving it a try, but I won't be shocked if you decide to cancel it later.
photos
I love seeing photos that people post. You are one of the few people that posts photos to her blog. Most people don't. But it's really easy to share them on Facebook. I hope you join us there soon!
Facebook
I like Facebook because it has given me a way to express myself, not previously available to me.
Facebook
I just like the way I can keep a discreet eye on my kids AND how easy it is to set up our weekly feedbags. It's also been fun hearing from old friends.
Missing our Grandmother
When my grandmother recently passed away at the wonderful old age of 97 - i felt particulary lost that first day. My one sister lives in Vancouver and my other sister was out of town and not due back for a few days. On the day she died, I wasn't able to be there when she passed but did spend some time with her afterwards. I know that might sound morbid, but it was important for me to hold her hand and tell her I loved her and thank her for everything. I did all these things when she was alive and feel very content that I did, but I had made her a promise that I would be there for her when she died and it was the best I could do. I know she heard me.
Afterwards I went home and felt so lonely and isolated and sad. I wanted my sisters there, but my Vancouver sister couldn't make it over until the next day. I went online and checked out facebook and was relieved to see, thru their posting comments that both my cousins in Ontario that were closest to her knew about her passing. I love both these women like my own sisters. I immediately sent them messages and throughout that day we comforted each other in this strange electronic way. I don't pretend it was as comforting as having them there for me. Neither do I support using text to replace personal connections, but the written word is still very strong. This is why we read and write and correspond. Unlike a blog, it was more intimate, but also a way to share with my other friends the loss that I was experiencing. My cousins and I shared little stories and memories and I know I smiled a lot through my tears that day too.
I miss my grandmother more than I can express, but I know I was blessed to have a grandmother at my age (46). And the comfort I was able to give and receive thru of all things - facebook - was also a blessing.
Friends and floods
I connected with a childhood friend last year on Facebook; someone I had not spoken to since 1995 at my 10 year high school reunion. I can't remember now how we found each other, but we did. Now I know she had three kids, a husband and lives on a farm.
From my connection to her I heard first hand the hardships of living through a flood in a rural area, how they couldn't make it back to their own home because roads flooded out. I witnessed as she used Facebook to find places for her kids to stay during the week long flood and I learned that my old friend did her part, making coffee and food for the people working tirelessly during that week to save homes and livestock. And she was able to keep people updated on how she was doing, helping others worry not too much, knowing they were doing ok.
Then in the fall she would post updates about the harvest, keeping everyone up to date on their progress. They were battling bad weather in the form of too much rain. And I would look everyday to see if they were done.
Since I have reconnected with Grace I have enjoyed trying to imagine how very different her life is from mine. And yet, how much we have in common as mothers and wives. And I look forward to seeing her in person when we go back to Manitoba this coming summer and maybe even checking out her farm.
my facebook story
I am the person who found someone thru facebook - she was a little girl when we saw her last - just turned 10. She was our 'other daughter'. She practically lived at our place from the time we moved in until the time she moved out. We had a 3 year old and a 4 month old when we met, and this little girl - 'Elizabeth' adored them both. Her father left the military and they all moved back to Sask. just 18 months after we first moved next door. Because of wierd work and school commitments, we never got to say good-bye to her at all. We tried to keep in touch via mail, but when we moved - we lost her mailing address. I honestly loved her like one of my own, we all thought of her as family. I've only been on facebook a short while, mostly to monitor my daughter's facebook accounts (that was a condition of letting them have one). It occurred to me just yesterday to see if Elizabeth was also on. It took moments to find her and send her an email, and within 15 mintues she had responded. She is now a very beautiful young woman of 21, but she is still my Elizabeth. She was just as excited to hear from us and I now hope we can stay in touch and hopefully one day see her again.
There - I think that should count as TWO stories, since Elizabeth was just as excited to find us too!